Particles of the Universe
by ValdieWhittaker123
Summary: Luke Skywalker awaits for a special visit.


I hear the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks down there. The wind brings particles of sand and water to my face. Everyday I reflect over my mistakes, I carry the burden of the past over my sholders. That day was the end of another cicle for the world, a new chance for those who missed the first. Me? I think I missed all my chances.

Rain, thunder, waves… it doesn't matter, the sound of the music is stronger. When you were in my arms, sleeping, and I could hear your heartbeat. Your little hand full of life held my tired metalic hand. Your warm skin against the cold metal. I knew exaclty what was that energy that run freely within you. The music played, from your toy, a pleasent melody, but now beats against my ears like torture. Each note emboided in my mind.

"She's just a baby", they've told me, bu I knew what I was doing. Didn't I? Maybe not, but you weren't just a baby and wasn't safe with me. You never were. "This is a mistake", I said, "He's going to find her.". It hurts. It hurts to talk about him like that. Like an enemy. But I was used to treat family like enemy. I don't wanna include you on the list.

The truth is I stole his future and he stole mine. The only future a man like me could have. There was water on that day too. In the sky. In my eyes. In your eyes. "We're going to a better place", I said, "Wait for me and, when it's time, I'll come back for you". I heard your screams while my ship took me away from you.

I was abandoned too. Abandoned children learn to forgive earlier. Fathers. I saw mine dying in the midst of his mistakes, will you see me die? Do you see me as your father? I like to call you "daughter". I like to know that there's still a part of me that's pure. There are moments in which I don't know what's real and what is not. It seems too much for just one person. There's no peace here, alone. I'm alone with the overbaring sound of my thoughts. I'll go mad. If I haven't already, that is. The notes begin to play again…

I feel the rocks. The sand. The water. The grass. Life. Death. All the little particles of existence. Mineral, vegetable, animal. Spectral. The infinite isn't the begining. I know what happens and what is coming to. The future repeats the past. We are one. I see your face. Yes, I do. Your shy smile. Your scared eyes. I know your name too. I know you're young, but your heart is strong. Can you feel me the same way I feel you? Can you listen to the music too? Can you remember? "Wait for me…"

I wanted to know where did I lose my senses. I thought I could save the galaxy. Then I thought I could protect you, but in the end, it's me who needs salvation. We are insignificant. The galaxy works alone. "Would you do it all over again?", someone asks, but that's not the right question. Will I die in the hands of my own monster? Is there still a way back when one goes too far? Those aren't the right questions either. I always ask the wrong questions.

I've failed. We all do, but it's different for me. When you can see everything that is hidden it gets harder to see what is right in front of you. Every master is also a disciple. Nature works in mysterious ways, even for me. Sometimes what is lost don't come back. I don't see what I could see anymore. What is dead is not real for us. Only its memories.

And I remember each one of them. All that he killed. When the night falls all I hear is the water and their voices, calling for me. I can't help them. Nor friends, nor enemies. Or a bit of both. I can't tell the diference. In the night I just see the stars. They aren't really there. Your voice isn't there, I've never heard your voice. I can only hear your music. And hers, she has a music too. And how are they similar! It was playing when we've met.

It was a day like this one, of rebirth. You would've liked her. She died, along with them. Now it's just a star. I haven't met my mother either. Mothers. I had a different mother, demanding, mysterious… I don't understand her very well, I don't know what she wants from me. Maybe she'll be more forgiven with you. Do you like the sea? I've never asked. I wanted to show you the sea. It has a certain melancholy. Like it saw a lot of things. I was too old when I first saw the sea. I've seen the sand, that raised me. The snow, that covered me. The darkness, that lost me. The fire, that freed me. But only now I see the sea. Is it going to drown me? I'm already drowning in the water of my saddness. Is it going to turn me into sand again?

We are made of sand, both of us. Harsh and dry. I'm tired. I'm a tired old man. We'll go back to the sand one day. I would like that. Coming back with you. But things can't come back that easy. You have a different path from mine. We seem harmless, don't we? But we can cause a lot of damage. Oh, the damage I've done… the lives I've ruined… I hope you can see the way. I hope you listen to my messenge. I hope nobody steals your future. I hope you can forgive me. I hope these steps I hear are yours. Any moment now… was it you that came for me? Will you save me? I hope that… no, no, don't look at me, look at the sea, can you see it? What is the sea to you? Listen! Listen!

I know what your music is now. Is the sound of hope.


End file.
